10 months

He is almost 10 months, very content and active, kept me busy 24/7. During this time, I dedicated all my attention to him, and almost forgot the others. Yeah, I forgot to be a wife to a loving husband, who works really hard day and night so I can stay at home, take care the kids. I'm sorry dear, I know all this year, I wasn't being myself, I still can't get over with our great life at Canada. I need to learn and accept this is our home now, there is no way for us to go back there anymore. I must stop complaining how much unhappy I am , why we cannot have this and this here. Welcome to Boleh Land... hehehehehehehehe

I miss Canada a lot, I hope we can settle down there in one day, I'll pray hard for it.. Amen.

Good news

snippets

1. I just gave a birth to a wonderful baby boy 7 week ago.
2. My relationship with mum n dad turned good. They visited me twice since I moved here.
3. I decided to stay at home and enjoying motherhood.
4. I got few presents from king and can't hardly wait for a big one ( Vios or Honda? ... hem.... )
5. Life is good.

So, what else I want? What happened to our DD dear? I need a structure and guidance from you . I felt lost when you're not around. But if you didn't work, I won't get a Vios.. LOL

submissive wife vs daughter part 3

King will bring me back to my parent's place this weekend. No more runaway, angel. He want me to settle everything before I go to the labor. He promise to stay beside me all the time. This is an order and I must obey it. I'm a bit nervous. Yes, my heart still broken, but I had to move on. I didn't talk with them for a month.

What is my plan? I don't know. I had to stop pretending and start be myself. I'm a submissive wife; I submit and obey to my husband and nothing can't change that. My parents should know and aware of it. I don't care what mum will say and think about it, this is my marriage and my life. I choose to live with it.

I have to start pack presents for everyone. We're in a very tight budget now but I had to do it. That's the only way to win their hearts back. Like some people said, no money, no love. Its true, that's how my family judged us this past 5 years. It's really hurt me because I'm not working anymore like my other siblings.

Wish me a luck.

wife vs daughter part 2

I'm at almost 7 months pregnant now. I must avoid all the stress things. I don't want to think about it but its all coming back to me now. I didn't talk with her for a week after I hang up the phone last time. My husband ordered me to reduce talking with her because i will end up emotionally break down after every conversation with her. I cried, I couldn't breathe and totally lost control. I'm afraid I"m gonna end up in ER!!

Mama n papa, I adore you two most. I 'll give you everything I could, just to make you happy. I may be not your favorite daughter but I had a heart and feeling too. Can you two at least think that your daughter is pregnant now, can you show me some sympathy and respect my feeling? Why you had to ask what I do and give to our family? I'm not your kids anymore, I'm 29 and a mother of my own son. And If you forgot, I also had a husband. If you don't want to respect my feeling, at least show some mercy to my husband. He might be soft n gentle looking person, but he is the HOH in our house. He the one who make decision, not me.

Last night, my husband told me he don't want any involvement from my parents in our marriage.

to be continued later, our moving stuff just arrived!

wife vs daughter part 1

I need to write this. At first I taught to close the blog when i moving here, because I'm afraid soon people will detect my lifestyle. But I still need a place to write and express my feeling.

I moved to a new place last month, near to my family.Everything started to change, my husband left me at my parents house for a week and after that, I'm no longer submissive and obedient wife. My mum somehow try to control me and my husband in everything. It been going for a month until one day he found out I'm crying in the middle of the night. I had a conflict with my mum and it was so terrible.

To be continued...

6 weeks

Thanks God, I'm the happiest person in the world.

Totally disappointed

I'm totally disappointed. I'd been fooled for four years. Who am I to them, specifically to her?

She was married once, few months after my wedding. When I was told about the second wedding, I' a bit surprised and ask, did she already divorced? They said that she been divorced few years ago! What the heck? Why nobody tell me about it? Who am I to them?

I started recall everything that happened three years back. What was happened during my holiday at my parents house. What did she done and told me during the cold war between us. She already divorced and I didn't know about it? Why? I'm her younger sister, and they are my parents!!!

I felt so stupid, sometimes I wish I never born in their life. I know I shouldn't say this but I can't lie to my self. I'm sad, being ignored by my own family.

Thanks to DD, I learn to forget and forgive. I moved on and forget the past. I surrendered, humbled and accepted without argued and asked. But why they still treat me like this.

The engagement will take place this month , follows by the wedding in this coming Mac. I'll be home after May, and absolutely couldn't make it. I don't expect she will wait for us coming home, we're not an important person anyway.

May be I should move on.. again?

Ok, lets get something really serious. I'd been doing a lot of thinking and talking with King about our my future, I mean my career. Frankly speaking, its impossible to get back into my line after 4 years resigned. I almost forget everything about engineering and technical stuffs. He suggested me to take MBA. The problem is, I'm not really in mood to study again.

What I want to actually? I don't know. I'm happy with what I am now. But what will my parents say? And I still had to pay my study loan. He said that he would take care of it.

My plan is, to get pregnant so I had an excuse to stay at home. ( most employer won't hire a pregnant woman). Hope the economy will get better


notes: this was written last December, and i forgot to publish it . And I'm actually 6 months pregnant now :)

Potty training

I'm so tired and exhausted today. Almost give up. But I had to do it, he is 3 now and all his friends already trained too. I only get a chance to train him now because the school just closed this week. Hopefully he pass and graduate soon, at least before he start his preschool next month, I mean next year.


Nothing going much with me, still with PMS syndrome. Any spanking won't help me during this time. Period. I just need more coffee and coffee. And some shopping retail therapy .. opss.. . Linen n things at my place will close their store soon so they sold everything at very cheap price, I guess. I got a new chafing dish , a set of grill tools and 4 towels for total $70. And also a programable coffeemaker from Canadian Tire. Bedding set still on the list, got to save some for Boxing day!